Today is a super stress and unhappy Monday. First was due to some arguement with Erjie about some work issues. I also dun know what really happen, but what we both wanted to say just cant agree. I burst into tears after struggling for a while. The feeling is complex, it was too my heart can take it. Lucky thing was we both love each other and nothing will tear our sistership apart. Not long settling from lunch, we went for set off for our company stock take. The warehouse there is peanuts to compare to my ex company's. Maybe because I was born from the logistics industry, I really despite the services they are providing. There is almost minimum management with this freight forwarder. Among 100, I rate then 44 only. We was able to complete about 6 plus, and we went back home from the warehouse. Along the way home, I feel so stress up, the urge of smoking suddenly appear again, it seems like the nicotine in my blood have not totally clear, it still trigger my brain when I feel troubled. Not wanting to lose my determination, I went down to The provision after dinner, return with many kind of sweets. While doing so, I feel so much to be cuddled. I turn to my husband and hoping for some console. But there again, not even bother to react, knoling at his damm tv show. Sometime I really feel like a semi widow, but just a bit better cause I still have a living husband that work to support the family and act a role of father for my childrens. Other than tat, I am a women suffering from serious loneliness and almost fully deserted by my own husband mentalily and physically. I see serious problem with my marriage, but he dun think so at all. I really dun know when will touch my limit, but I foresee tat it will still one day. By then, only the kids suffer again.
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