Guilt of a Mum

Unable to get back to sleep immediately after feeding my little Ryan, here I am blogging in the middle of the night at 2.00am. No one understand my feelings now, not even myself, it is too complex.

I reached home 10.30pm tonight, a long day of work again without stepping out of the office seeing daylight. I kept questioning myself, what else can I do to reduce my work load? My heart was filled with guilt when I rushed home but still unable to get back before Ryan falls asleep, he must have miss me so much before he finally close his eyes for the day, and I miss him badly too. I swear to god that I have already use my maximum speed trying to complete as much work as possible, but it's seem endless. I start to doubt on my working capability and feel rather helpless. My confidence level drops as days passes by, how I wish I can have 2 more hands, one more brain, an additional computer or an extra 5 hours a day so as I won't have to miss the precious time to spend with my family. If god hear my prayers, please give me a hand. Help me pull through my work load, give me the power to change this situation.